How do you want to feel?

Let's reimagine our "goals." And our New Year's resolutions. Please.

I’m a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. Yes, really. Hear me out.

Because mine are never “go to the gym.” “organize my sock drawer,” “eat healthy” (whatever that means…) or other boring directives that end up making me feel guilty when, inevitably, I fall down on them.

Instead, I make fun and silly resolutions: “See one movie a week. in the theater, with popcorn.” “Eat more parsnips and stroganoffs and cheesecake.” “Meet a friend for lunch or happy hour once a week.” “Try a new restaurant every month.”

My resolutions are always about having a better time than I did this year. About being kinder to myself, about enjoying and living life, not about punishing myself. And guess what? They’re a LOT easier to keep than the boring “lose weight” kind.

It’s been a pretty tough year, and for those of us who’ve survived it - yay us, and also - let’s be nicer to ourselves next year.

But because I work for myself, I get a lot of newsletters and emails about “year in review” and “goal-setting for your business for the new year.” And being a conscientious hard worker who wants to make a difference, I read all of them.

This year I noticed a important shift, though.

A writing coach I love and a writer I follow on Substack have both posed the question not as “what do you want to accomplish? What are your top 5 goals for the new year?”

A better question: “How do you want to feel?”

When I hear this from two entirely different places, it makes me think there’s a there there. So this is what I’ll be pondering over the next couple of weeks as we head into 2025.

If you feel like supporting my caffeine habit, you can buy me a holiday coffee here.

A few words that come to the top of my mind are supported, integrated, grounded, confident. If this is the way I want to feel, then I can better figure out what my goals are. And you’ll probably get to hear about them in my next newsletter, you lucky thing.

Try it out for yourself. Forget promising yourself you’ll lose 20 pounds or eat more kale (unless you really love kale, in which case send me recipes because I can’t get enough of it). Instead, carve out some quiet time, grab a cup of hot chocolate or a glass of wine and think about how you want to feel in the coming year.

If you can do your pondering in the Ponderosas, even better.

And let me know! You’ll probably come up with some feelings I hadn’t thought of and then I can purloin them and add them to my list. And of course you can steal any or all of mine!

For all of my readers and followers and subscribers, both paid and unpaid, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really enjoy writing to you all every week, and I’m honored that you take time out of your 168 hours a week to drop in here. I hope I can continue to make it worthwhile. I am always open to ideas of what to write about, so be in touch.

In the spirit of the holidays, I’ll be taking two weeks off starting this coming weekend to eat M&Ms (no blue ones in the Christmas mix!), drink mulled wine, see friends, read books, watch movies, and anything else that grabs my fancy.

See you back here in 2025!

Lots of love,

Teej